All those years moping, wondering why it was so bad for me to live. Those years of not being proud of myself, all those years wasted in mulling over until a friend gives me a book that tells me about soul-searching.
Hard work digging through my memory boxes, rediscovering joy, being angry, sad, but above all rediscovering a smile because this intensive research allowed me to see that I had had an intense, beautiful life. and full of adventures that I loved.
It's crazy, how many humans can say they have had nearly 10 fights in the UFC. How many can say they've had a 10-year career and nearly 40 fights without a major injury.
I'm one of the old guys, an Old School, an OG (original gangster).
Seriously, a lot has happened in 10 years, yes soon it will be the fateful 10 year anniversary of retirement.
The time of the Covid was a time of intense learning, a time of change and a time when I told myself I was going to go for it at all costs, but not like crazy. Yes, go for it to achieve my goals like I always have. We're pretty much all in the same boat, with all these closures and complications with the CPU and confinements.
You know, I could have said to myself ah and worse, I think about unemployment see the BS. Seriously, I'm a UFC veteran, I'm a coach, I work in the movie business, my company is registered to speak, and I was taking a walk for a good cause. A walk at my expense, where some individuals with a big heart had helped me. THANK YOU!!!!
I had choices to have work for great companies with a decent salary, a clean job and not too difficult physically. Imagine, you are the hiring manager and you have a dumb guy in front of you asking you for a position until February until this walk, he absolutely wants to do it, it is clear that if suicide has never affected you, you're going to not give a damn about his stupid project and you won't call him back.
I finally did business with an agency and they found me a job, a job that is prioritized, so that will not close in confinement. A work that will put me in shape, to walk, to see running, jumping and lifting objects. If I don’t do any of that, I’ll have to hang behind the truck and force more while getting some air.
Really, I feel like I’m ashamed, but I don’t have the energy to be embarrassed. For sure, I was a hero in the UFC and now I would be a zero who's collecting garbage.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I see a man who works hard to succeed in his project of 6 months of walking, 191 days without pay. I am not writing this message to ask for charity and above all not to make you feel sorry, this project is my choice. I'm writing this post to inspire people to stay alive and keep working hard to move forward. I want to show them that even if they fall or fall back in life, that this is never the end and that they must keep on fighting and making the changes that are necessary to improve their destiny.
To do this research on myself, ask for help, and improve my self-perception has been really tough work, but oh so beneficial.
To do it, I had to be willing to do it on my own and be open to change. Be prepared to face adversity and grow stronger. It will be heavy at first, but the further you go, the lighter you will be.